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Food For Thought

September 29, 2009
ham and cheese please

ham and cheese please

I was reading a magazine last night and suddenly my life was solved.  By a three sentence article. 

Is there a statue of limitations on the word “article”?  Can a three sentence blurb properly be referred to as an article?  Is it a snippet?  A teaser?  A visual sound bite?  If you are in the mag business and can educate me I’d appreciate it. 

Anyhoo, back to my Redbook, the magazine for middle aged women who pretend to think about trendiness on occasion.  The article is so short that I will type it for you in it’s entirety here:

Who knew?  According to research, your sandwich could reveal a lot about your personality – and your relationships.  After surveying more than 2,700 people, researchers found that egg-salad lovers get along with everyone, BLT and seafood-salad lovers are a match made in heaven, and ham-and-cheese types are independent without strong romantic connections.

Y’all, I wasted my 20s looking for a strong romantic connection.  Had I only known that (based on my sandwich preference) it wasn’t going to happen, I could have done something more useful with my time. 

Like curing cancer or color coordinating my closet.

 

 

people with too much time on their hands

One nice thing about this study is that I now have a perfect answer for well meaning friends who want to set me up.

I’m sorry Desdemona.  Your friend Reginald Ichabod Crevass sounds like a dream.  However it would never work.  You see, my sandwich preference is ham-and-cheese.

*Insert meaningful stare here.*

And I’m off the hook.

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9 Comments leave one →
  1. September 29, 2009 11:44 am

    So, if C is a ham & cheese and so am I, then I guess our marriage is doomed. Unless, of course, we only hang out at Denny’s or IHOP. I’m assuming that’s neutral territory.

  2. debby permalink
    September 29, 2009 11:57 am

    That’s hilarious, Juice. I don’t like any of the first sandwiches mentioned, and even though I never thought of myself as a ham and cheese type, I find that that is what I am most drawn to in blog pictures.

    I don’t know whether to offer my condolences or to congratulate you…

  3. September 29, 2009 1:25 pm

    Hee hee! Well, that explains why I’m so conflicted…you see, I love ham & cheese, but I also love BLTs and seafood salad sandwiches. Can’t stand egg salad, though.

    Wanna come organize my closet?

  4. September 29, 2009 1:27 pm

    If it has the word “sandwich” anywhere in the title, I like it. What does that say about me?

  5. September 29, 2009 3:45 pm

    I love all sandwiches. Especially hot ones. In fact, I would like one right now ;)

  6. Erin permalink
    September 29, 2009 5:00 pm

    Is sandwich polygomy a crime? Because I like all of those sandwiches. And I have a color coordinated closet. WWRBD?

  7. October 6, 2009 11:35 pm

    But what happens if you like all those sandwiches?? After reading this post, I want a BLT and an egg salad sandwich, AND ham and cheese. Plus an ice cream sundae. What does that mean?
    Carrie

  8. dancefloordiva permalink
    October 8, 2009 6:02 pm

    I thought this was so hilarious I printed it out for co-workers. Now I understand my problem, I’m a die hard ham and cheese kinda girl.

  9. dancefloordiva permalink
    October 8, 2009 6:04 pm

    I mean to also add that I’m not at dancefloordiva much anymore, but at http://www.4everfab.wordress. Thanks for the great laugh!

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