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I Am Becoming the Crazy Neighborhood Curmudgeon

August 24, 2009

I am well on my way to becoming the neighborhood curmudgeon. Along the lines of “You kids get off my lawn!” Except that I don’t have a lawn. And my issue is usually less with kids playing and more with 20-somethings peeing.

I am not joking.

One of the joys of living in the city (along with higher taxes, urban squirrels (rats), and sky rats (pigeons))* is an inordinate amount of bars within walking distance. This is awesome for me, because I don’t have to worry about drinking and driving ever. Note: This feature was more awesome for me when I moved here as a hip happening city girl. Now that I have morphed into curmudgeon, the presense of the bars is neither here nor there.

Anyhoo…

Now my excitement for the evening consists of taking Cecilia for a walk, catching people peeing in alleys and then yelling at them in tones of righteous indignation. Woo! I just wish I had a super-sneaky camera and could catch them in the act. Wouldn’t that be fun? I could put posters up everywhere with my pictures.

See? Curmudgeon.

But wait! There’s more! (That Ginzu knife commercial is etched in my brain.)

On top of my curmudgeonliness (yes, I just made that up), let’s add some crazy. Because that is what the neighbors are going to think when they see Cecilia in her booties. Let’s take a look, shall we?

This show was taken last year in the snow. Note the galoshes. While I realize that does seem a little over the top, I was trying to protect her paws from road salt. Because I am a good dog mom, even though she has a tumor.

Today? It’s in the 80s, no chance of any precipitation and Cecilia’s back in the galoshes. But let’s call them booties now so it doesn’t seem so weather-dependent, ok?

Last night Cecilia got up from her dog bed, stepped onto the hardwood floor and all four of her legs went out from under her. She just could not get a grip. I’m watching her scrabbling and thinking that this would have been funny had it not been so pathetic. Then I remember the booties. Which are basically balloons with the narrow part cut off, so they have terrific traction on the hardwood. I put them on her and she is doing MUCH better. She even walked down the stairs on her own this morning!

So now I’ll be walking down the street with a Quasimodo dog wearing galoshes. Give me a few more years and I’ll start muttering to myself. About smacky frat boys peeing in my alley.

* Every city has issues, but I still pink puffy heart Baltimore.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. chinamommy permalink
    August 24, 2009 9:49 pm

    Juicy C- so glad i could help w/ the ol' stitchin' issue! love the "booties" for your pup, might have to get our puppy some for our crazy MI winter's!
    Hee, hee- went back & read all your posts- you were crackin me up too & don't worry i also find MYself to be SUPER hilarious & sometimes read my old posts for fun… yeah, i'm a dork!
    ~chinamommy

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