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There’s No Crying In The Walmart

September 3, 2009

Well.  I was all set to go to the Walmart on the way home from work today but now I am afeared.  I fear that I may suddenly burst into tears while walking down the paper towel aisle and then some stranger will tell me to shut up and slap me!  Don’t laugh.  It could happen.  And apparently it did happen at a Walmart in Georgia.  What is this world coming to?  Must I learn to control my crying jags for fear of public corporal abuse?  If a girl can’t cry in the Walmart where can she cry?

Oo0h, I’m big on the italics today, aren’t I?

In other news, you all will be glad to know that I conquered my fear of the blade and have unpacked my food processor.  I feel gypped (do the Roma feel that that is a derogatory term?  Should I substitute something else?  Help me my PC friends!).

Back to the subject, I am put out by the lack of helpful recipes included with my purchase.  Is that a thing of the past?  I know my old slow cooker came with recipes.  And I think my blender did too, but perhaps it did not.  If you have recently purchased a food-related appliance (or if you work for an appliance company – ahem, Black and Decker  –  headquartered in Baltimore), please comment.  Is this a cost savings measure forced by the recession?  Or have consumer lawsuits over poor recipes ruined it for the rest of us?

So I googled some food processor recipes, but nothing seemed to jump out at me.  I wish someone would do a “365 Days of Food Processing” blog, kind of like that famous crockpot blog.  And no, that someone will not be me.  I’d reach day 12 and then get distracted by something bright and shiny.  “Oooh look!  Tinfoil!  Let’s see if we can make a beanie antenna for Cecilia.” 

Like this poor dog:

Yo quiero aliens.

So the processing of food that may or may not occur in my kitchen will have to wait until I get this:

I ordered it from the library.  I just love love luv lurve pink puffy heart the library!  But that is another post for another day. 

In the meantime I need to work up my courage for the Walmart.  It does have the best produce you know.  Yo quiero grapes.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. September 3, 2009 5:32 pm

    I, too, pink-puffy-heart-with-glitter-and-lace love the library! Oh, I forgot to mention that your processor is good for grinding up Fiber 1 cereal into itty bitty bits and making breaded things…or so I’ve read in the “Hungry Girl” cookbook, that I checked out from the library! We’re more grillers in our household.

    Re: Walmart, just steer clear of the onions, and you’ll be fine. 🙂

  2. debby permalink
    September 4, 2009 1:03 am

    I HAVE to go to bed! But this post was hilarious, and Pubsgal’s reply was just as funny! Keep it up, girls! Debby loves a belly laugh on her way to bed…that sounds like it might have some hidden meaning. It does not.

  3. September 4, 2009 9:09 am

    I don’t make meals with a food processor. I think of it as a tool for things I would otherwise never do, like graham cracker and cookie crusts. So if you find recipes, I want them. I scoff every time a recipe says “food processor or blender” because I once used a blender instead of a food processor and everything inside went flying or oozing. No kidding.

    And of course a friend of mine was over, so it was hilariously funny to us. That sort of thing is always more fun with a girlfriend at hand.

    I had a point, but I have forgotten it. If you need a rhubarb recipe or key lime pie recipe or salsa/sauce recipe using the food processor, just holler. I will provide.

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