Food For Thought
I was reading a magazine last night and suddenly my life was solved. By a three sentence article.
Is there a statue of limitations on the word “article”? Can a three sentence blurb properly be referred to as an article? Is it a snippet? A teaser? A visual sound bite? If you are in the mag business and can educate me I’d appreciate it.
Anyhoo, back to my Redbook, the magazine for middle aged women who pretend to think about trendiness on occasion. The article is so short that I will type it for you in it’s entirety here:
Who knew? According to research, your sandwich could reveal a lot about your personality – and your relationships. After surveying more than 2,700 people, researchers found that egg-salad lovers get along with everyone, BLT and seafood-salad lovers are a match made in heaven, and ham-and-cheese types are independent without strong romantic connections.
Y’all, I wasted my 20s looking for a strong romantic connection. Had I only known that (based on my sandwich preference) it wasn’t going to happen, I could have done something more useful with my time.
Like curing cancer or color coordinating my closet.
One nice thing about this study is that I now have a perfect answer for well meaning friends who want to set me up.
I’m sorry Desdemona. Your friend Reginald Ichabod Crevass sounds like a dream. However it would never work. You see, my sandwich preference is ham-and-cheese.
*Insert meaningful stare here.*
And I’m off the hook.